Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Approaching 30...

How time flies.

It just dawn on me that in a week's time, I'll be a year older, 30 to be exact.

I won't lie that I still have much growing up to do. I was always the baby among my siblings. I have a younger brother but I guess his experience in a Science High School taught him to be mature beyond his years.

The past few months have been a rollercoaster ride. Left a company, gain a job left again until I found a company which I believe can help me grow further. As much as I love the publishing industry, working behind the scenes was daunting task but I took on the challenge and foremost that of being a headwriter of a niche magazine regarding diabetes. Despite the fear, I accepted it even if I was hesitant. But fear has always been my enemy and the only way to conquer was to accept. After all, there are the possibilities I would regret if I did not do it.

The saying when a door closes, another one opens can probably be applicable to the situation I have. I am now doing one of the things I love which is magazine writing. I am fortunate that my experience in the newspaper was a big help and I am applying what I can to the magazines I'm working with. But in any company, there will always be the ups and downs and challenging the status quo.

Now that I'm turning 30, the situation presents itself. I must challenge the status quo. I must get out of my comfort zones and risk it. While it may work in both ways, I should not regret it. For all the happiness and tears one thing is for sure right now; I'm ready to bounce back.

I saw a link from Project Runway's Nina Garcia about the 10 essential habits of positive people and reposting the tips here:
Going with the flow. photo from

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.
Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:
 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 
To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 
And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!
 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.
Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.
Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.
The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.
Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!
Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!
When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

8. People who are positive are great communicators.
They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.
One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.
Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.


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